Maxwell the ChuChu

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The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker (Oneshot Humor Fanfiction)

For those who don’t know what a ChuChu looks like. Heh, I know this is really weird. I posted a theme request thread on the forums, and asked for people to supply me with writing themes (they didn’t have to only be about Zelda). I’ve sorta lagged on completing most of them, but this is the first one I’ve finished. Jedizora asked me to write a story about a ChuChu and what it thinks, and since ChuChus are my favorite Zelda creature, I was overjoyed. xD

This is based on The Wind Waker, which should be obvious to anyone reading it who’s played the game. The “rather large bird” would be the Helmaroc King, and the two girls who get kidnapped would be Mila and Maggie.

Hachi (MireilleNu on deviantART) made this awesome fanart of Maxwell! :3

Maxwell was a strange thing. You see, there are a lot of strange, unusual little creatures in the world of the Great Sea, but among them many consider ChuChus to be the strangest. Maxwell was a ChuChu, and thus he was a strange creature. That is to say, he was a strange creature to others, but not to him and his fellow ChuChus. Oh, but that isn’t exactly true either… See, among ChuChus, he was quite outstanding.

Maxwell was one of the best looking Chus on all of Windfall Island. Some would say he was nothing more than a blob of jelly, but that is exactly the POINT. The Chu ladies all ached for a chance to go out with Maxwell, but he was always far too busy. He always wore the most professional looking hat a Chu could buy. Some would say that this hat was just more jelly, but that is simply ignorance. It, like the rest of his ensemble, was remarkably dapper.

This well-to-do ChuChu was always busy with a number of projects and other affairs, rarely having time to stop in one place for long. But still, as he would waddle along on his way, he would often stop to strike up a conversation with other Chus and ask them about their day, for he was very polite and very interested in everything. Some would consider these conversations to be little more than “squeaking”, which is a reasonable misunderstanding for those that do not understand the Chulese language. Nevertheless, every conversation that Maxwell engaged in was very stimulating. He wouldn’t have it any other way.

One day after he had just concluded a fascinating conversation with an elderly couple of Chus, Maxwell found himself near the docks of the island, and there he saw quite a scene. People were screaming and running every which way, but Maxwell could’t see any rhyme or reason to it.

“My word, what is happening?” squeaked Maxwell to the crowd, attempting to stabilize the situation. Unfortunately Maxwell had been too busy to learn a language besides Chulese, and since no humans ever seem to learn Chulese, no one could understand him.

The panicking continued with Maxwell unable to determine the reason for it until a child bumped into him. As his head bobbed back, he got a view of the sky and noticed a rather large bird circling overhead.

“Oh! Oh dear, that is a rather large bird up there, circling overhead,” he squeaked aloud to no one in particular. “Hmmmm…”

He looked around at the grassy clearing and noticed that almost everyone was gone. It seemed that there were only a few stragglers left outside; everyone else had retreated into their homes. Except, Maxwell noticed, the two little girls huddling together in fear, just a short way away from him. With some difficulty, Maxwell bent backwards and looked up at the bird again, squinting his ChuChu eyes against the sunlight. The bird had spotted the girls too, now that the townsfolk had gone. And worse yet, it was preparing to dive.

“Oh, no!” Maxwell squeaked urgently at the two girls. “That rather large bird has spotted you now that the townsfolk have gone! And worse yet, it is preparing to dive!”

But the two girls just stared at Maxwell blankly, not understanding a squeak of what he said.

“Of course, how silly of me,” Maxwell said to himself. Humans never know Chulese. “Very well then!”

Maxwell took off at his fastest pace, hopping toward the girls. He rarely found himself in need of hopping, being very good at scheduling his affairs and never needing to rush, but nonetheless he always kept himself in shape, and so he hopped faster than most Chus are able to get to the girls in time. Meanwhile, the rather large bird began to dive. The two girls did not seem to understand what Maxwell was doing as he hopped toward them. It almost looked like they were more afraid. That didn’t make any sense…

“Do not fret!” Maxwell squeaked out loudly as he hopped. “I am coming to your aid!”

Strangely, though, his loud squeaks of reassurance still seemed to frighten them more, and they buried their heads, crying audibly. However, Maxwell pushed it from his mind as he reached the girls, for the rather large bird was almost upon them. Maxwell firmly planted himself between the girls and the rather large bird as he stiffened his body to block the creature.

The beast struck. But after that, Maxwell couldn’t remember anything.

He awoke as the sun was setting. It had been early in the day when Maxwell had tried to save the girls, so he knew he had been out for a long time. He got up off the ground, which to an uninformed observer might look like he was forming out of a puddle, and looked around for the girls. Alas, they were gone. After an instant of regret, Maxwell took a moment to collect his thoughts, then looked around for someone he could talk to. There, by the mailbox! It was the Rito postman!

“A daring fellow,” Maxwell thought to himself. “He’ll do nicely.”

Maxwell hopped quickly over to the man and nudged him, which to an uninformed observer might look something like bumping him with his forehead. The Rito looked down in surprise. Maxwell wasted no time.

“Kind sir, there is an urgent matter with which I need your help,” squeaked Maxwell. “It is terrible. Two girls from this island have been kidnapped by a rather large bird. We must rouse the townsfolk into action and enact a rescue plan!”

The Rito stared at Maxwell a moment before striking him in the side of the head in a vicious and unprovoked attack, which some might mistake as self-defense.

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,” uttered Maxwell, in what sounded like a long and continuous squeak. The force of the blow had caused his head to start uncontrollably bouncing back and forth against the ground, a nauseating motion that he could not stop with all his power. As he was trapped like that for hours, he lamented that no one would save those two girls, barely taking notice of an odd little boy in green scurrying by.

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  • Audioblogs12

    Great as always, Axle!